Unpacked: A Walker Returns Home

Guest Blogger- Simcha Frischling

Tonight, we begin the Jewish holiday of Purim. Beyond the external aspects of the holiday the costumes, the parties, and mad drunkenness, I would like to delve into the deeper meaning of the holiday as an experience to deeper our relationship to G-d and all of the relationships in our lives. I think it would be most appropriate to start at the beginning, the creation of mankind. (more…)

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Guest Blogger- Simcha Frischling

Hello everyone. Thank you, Yannai, for offering me the opportunity to share on your space. I’ve never done this before so for me it’s like taking a car out for a bit of a test drive. We’ll see how it goes. (more…)

Hi Everyone,

Like I wrote in my previous post, Here to Be us, I’m leaving on Sunday (3/16) for a month of Miluim, reserve duty in the Israeli Army.

I will therefore be taking a month’s break from Unpacked.

For a special treat, I’ve invited a very special teacher of mine, Rabbi Simcha Frischling, founder and director of Call of the Shofar to write guest posts for Unpacked while I’m away.

Call of the Shofar is an organization that offers workshops and weekly follow-up groups which explore Torah principles of relationship which, when applied, encourage individual wellbeing, relational health, and experiences of the greater symphony we are all a part of.

I’m very honored to have Simcha write for Unpacked. I have been involved with “Shofar” for over a year now, and my life- My relationships, my approach to being Jewish, my approach to myself, my approach really to everything, has been impacted in such a powerful and positive way. So much of what I have written on Unpacked has been in some way inspired by my experience with Shofar. If I’ve had a conversation with you in the past year and a half, chances are that a good chance of what I said- I learned from Shofar.

I feel so much thanks towards Simcha, to Benzion and the rest of the Shofar family. I hope you enjoy! (I know I can’t wait to read Simcha’s posts when I come home).

I feel very fortunate to have written for Unpacked for the last two and a half months and I thank all of you very much for unpacking with me. The army’s an intense thing- I’m sure I’ll have tons to Unpack with when I come home.

For now, enjoy the month, and enjoy Simcha’s writing. I can’t wait to return!

Thanks again,

Yannai

Shock to Sadness, sadness to fear, fear to anger.

Anger to despair, despair to feeling tired, feeling tired to going back to work on Sunday.

This has been my general process, in relating to Thursday night’s attack in Jerusalem.

What are we doing in this nutty land in the first place?

Following the attack, I read an article by Dr. Daniel Gordis, that asks this very question. Dr. Gordis contends that revisiting the question is the most important work for us right now.

According to Dr. Gordis, the tragedy from which we suffer as Israelis, is that we don’t remember the reason Jews created the State of Israel: to solve a history of suffering. We no longer connect to our dream to change the condition of the Jew from the powerless hunted to one who fights his hunter.

In general, I love Mr. Gordis’s work. He writes through eyes of an Israeli, a Jew, an academic and a worried parent. In doing so, he touches upon the true intensity that is the Israel experience.

That being said…

I would like to disagree. In the process, I wish to address Dr. Gordis’s question, and explain, maybe to you, maybe to me, what I think the Jewish People are doing in this nutty Land in the first place.

Dr. Gordis questions the strategy of Israel’s founders- disconnecting from traditional Jewish discourse. I wish to question the original dream. To me, that dream is the root of our problems.

If I exist so that I can defend myself, then my independence is contingent upon my subjugation. If I am independent in order to avoid being dependent- then I am still very much dependent. (Kind of like the non-conformists back at school, that always have an eye on the conformists so that they will make sure not to conform.).

I believe it very sad, if from the position of being hunted, my ultimate goal is to fight my hunter. Even as I fight back, I am still a victim. If I grow up with a vision of redemption that ends with attacking my hunter, then I will make sure to look for my hunter even when he is not there.

If before the State of Israel our nation often lived from sadness and fear, then in order to fight back and create our state, we moved on to anger.

Sadness to fear, fear to anger, anger to despair, despair to feeling tired, feeling tired to going to work on Sunday.

And that’s where we find Israel today- just trying to get to work on Sunday.

Dr. Gordis speaks of our current lack of historical awareness. It’s not that our generation of Jews and Israelis are unaware. It’s that we are tired. Anger and hope can hold up a burden with the help of adrenaline, but adrenaline runs out.

The answer is not to rekindle the fight of 1948.

The answer, I believe, is to try and figure out who we were, or why we were, before our fights began.

I want to be very clear: I don’t blame the founders of the State for anything. Of course they created a state out of being victims. They were victims. Of Holocausts, pogroms, persecution in Arab countries. True heroes translated their anger into this wonderful place where I live today and to them I am eternally grateful.

But their situation was not ideal. This country would not be fixed if we just became them.

There is a lot of discourse about the Zionism of old: if only we had their fervor, their dedication, their love of Israel.

Many critics say that we now take our existence for granted. I say to them, that their mistake is that they don’t take their existence for granted. Or at the very least, they can’t fathom our existence without seeing an enemy somewhere in the background.

I think it a grave mistake to suggest that we recapture the spirit of Israel’s founders. We can be inspired by it, but God forbid should we become it. I will defend myself because I exist- not vice versa. Israel is more than just a refuge for Jews.

Long before we were suffering Jews, we were Israel- a nation whose destiny was to create a Kingdom of kindness and truth and justice and peace, who reveals the Divinity that hides itself in every pocket and corner of everyone and everywhere.

It is not for naught that our country lies exactly on the cusp of East and West, western medicine and eastern medicine, Monotheistic worship and pagan, the gifts of ancient history and the advantages of modernity. We were created to be inspired by the world, to pick up the scattered lights all around it, and discover the fact that the scatter is really One.

We are in Israel in order to ask questions. We exist, so that we can find ourselves with an entire other nation to care for, to feel their pain at being occupied, and to figure out how to deal with it. Israel does not mean pretending that those people do not exist, and Israel is also not disengaging from our responsibility that they do.

We are sovereign over Jerusalem because our potential is to make space for everyone, within a limited space. We did not suffer so that we would feel deserving of the world’s sympathy. We suffered so that we could sympathize with the world when it suffers.

We are a proud and brilliant and wonderful people. We are fine for who we are, and don’t need to prove it to anyone, nor fight everyone who suggests otherwise. We just need to be us. When we generate that sense of integrity in the world, the world will see us as such.

This Sunday, I enter a month of reserve duty in the Israeli army. I am not going because I feel the need to defend. I don’t really feel that privilege anymore. I honestly just want to be home with my wife.

But I am going, because I want to be an active member of this country whose plight is so real to me. I want to be part of it and stand in the middle, so that one day, I will be there when we learn to value our existence for its own Infinite sake.

Although I am not yet a worried parent, I begin to think about the reality in which my children, God willing, will live.

I hope that the dream they grow up with does not include their fighting for my pain. I hope that they can appreciate our history without having to drag it around. I hope I never ask them to drag it around.

May they not be victims, either to hunters or to an existence founded upon fighting hunters. If they must defend themselves, may it never be in order “to defend their right to defend themselves.” May that never be a question for them.

Hi everyone,

As many of you know, it was a hard weekend for us in Israel. A gunman, named Ala Abu Dhaim, entered a Yeshiva- a Jewish house of study, and killed 8 boys while they were learning Torah.

I just wanted to share a story that was sent to me by my friend Sharon:

Every morning I take the 35 bus to work. It’s a quick ride and usually takes no more than 12 minutes. The third stop after I get on is directly in front of Yeshivat Merkaz HaRav (where the shooting took place). This morning I found myself a bit anxious, unsure of what I was going to see as we passed by.

As I looked around, I saw death notices pasted all over the street and flowers that had been brought lined the entrance to the Yeshiva. When the bus pulled up to the stop, the driver shut off the engine and stood.

With tears in his eyes he told everyone sitting on the bus that one of the boys killed on Thursday night was his nephew. He asked if everyone on the bus would mind if he spoke for a few minutes in memory of his nephew and the other boys that were killed. After seeing heads nod all over the bus he began to speak.

With a clear and proud voice, he spoke beautifully about his nephew and said that he was a person who was constantly on the lookout for how to help out anyone in need. He was always searching for a way to make things better. He loved learning, and had a passion for working out the intricacies of the Talmud. He was excited to join the army in a few years, and wanted to eventually work in informal education.

As he continued to speak, I noticed that the elderly woman sitting next to me was crying. I looked into my bag, reached for a tissue and passed it to her. She looked at me and told me that she too had lost someone she knew in the attack. Her neighbor’s child was another one of the boys killed. As she held my hand tightly, she stood up and asked if she too could say a few words in memory of her neighbor.

She spoke of a young man filled with a zest for life. Every Friday he would visit her with a few flowers for Shabbat and a short word of Torah that he had learned that week in Yeshiva.”
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…Just some notes from a country where we’re all family.

May listening merit us peace.

Yannai

As I finish up the next post on Unpacked, I just wanted to draw your attention to something pretty wild.

This here video has been circulating around the internet for a little while now, but just in case you haven’t seen it, I suggest you give a watch. It sure pushes my sense of understanding the rules of how things work around here…

The video (maybe a minute long), was sent to me by Chana’s cousin and my friend, Shelby: A very smart, very insightful young lady in the sixth grade from Dayton, Ohio. Thanks Shelby!

The classic example for newsworthy, is “Not Dog bites Man, but Man Bites Dog.” So newsworthy probably is not Man Hugs Lion, but rather…

I won’t ruin the surprise: Click Here to have a see.

Enjoy!

Yannai

Just a follow up on yesterday’s post, Best Actor- The Guy in the Street. Best Film- Us.

Immediately after posting, I left for work.

My walk to work cuts through downtown Jerusalem. One feature of my walk, is passing a shekel and a half store- where everything is sold for a shekel (the Israeli currency) and a half.

This particular merchant has opted not to suffice with a standard shop awning that displays the store name, or even with the customary form of network marketing in this great country of mine- someone yelling that things are for sale.

No, Shekel VaChetzi, as it is ingeniously called, meaning “Shekel and a Half” promotes itself with a continuously playing and replaying rap song. The words to the song, which I imagine to be named Shekel VaChetzi, are “Shekel Vachetzi Shekel Vachetzi, Kol Pareet B’Shekel Vachetzi“- “A shekel and a half, a shekel and a half- every item for a shekel and a half.”

I’ve always marveled at this song. I mean it is a rockin’ tune. Try saying it to yourself- it sings naturally. But I never realized the sheer promotional genius of the Shekel VaChetzi song until yesterday:

As I walked past the store, with Shekel VaChetzi reminding us that everything at the shekel and a half store costs a shekel and a half, I could hear another passerby, walking by himself- just like me, probably coming to or from his work- muttering to himself, together with the rhythm - “Shekel VaChetzi Shekel VaChetzi, Kol Parit B’Shekel Vachetzi.”

Ah, golden we are. I love it!

Music for this week: It ain’t Me Babe, sung by Johnny Cash and June Carter.

Chan and I recently saw the movie Walk the Line, about Johnny Cash. Besides enjoying the music, we were amazed that a true story about a musician could have such a happy ending! Click Here to listen. (It’s YouTube, so we’re on an honor system here: Listen to the music, but keep reading, too!)
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The following stories are true. They took place on a mini-trip I took last week, to a buddy’s wedding in California:

Story #1- I am on the airplane from New York to LA. An hour into the flight, a stewardess makes an announcement: “I’m sorry, but the in-flight movie system is broken. We will therefore not be showing a movie this flight. Our deepest apologies.”

Ok, so no movie.

Roughly half an hour later, she comes back: “I’ve got good news and bad news, folks: The good news is that I fixed the movie system. The bad news is that we won’t show the movie we had planned to show. But that movie wasn’t good anyway, so don’t worry.”

The stewardess finished her announcement with, “When I pass you by in the aisle, you can feel free to tell me how good I am.”

Story #2- I get to LA and make my way to Pico Blvd., where my friend Elie is picking me up. With some time to spare, I make myself comfortable on a street corner and begin to read a just-purchased issue of Backpacker magazine.

All of a sudden, I hear a voice behind me: “Well, you’re wearing a Yarmulke (skullcap/Kippah). How about that!”

I turn around and find an elderly man who is very excited to see a fellow Jew. After shaking my hand, he tells me about his Jewish worship, why he doesn’t wear a Yarmulke, why he thinks it’s great that some people do, where he likes to pray, where he lives, where I should go while I’m in LA and so on. He tells me his Hebrew name is Aryeh.

Aryeh then tells me that he’s a writer. “I also love to write,” I say. He then does the obvious thing for one to do in such situations: He pulls out a giant wad of rubber bands, and says, “Well, hey! Have a rubber band! A writer can never have too many rubber bands, you know.” Fearing the dreadful things that might happen to me due to my lack of rubber bands, I say, “Well I better have one, then,” and take a rubber band.

After giving me a few more rubber bands for safe measure, Aryeh bids me goodbye and we part ways.

Story #3- I am flying back from LA to New York. As breakfast is being served, I remember that I did not order a Kosher meal, and resolve to feasting on the candy bar or two that I have in my backpack.

As the stewardess passes by with her cart, she looks at me, recognizes the same head-covering seen by Aryeh, and with sadness in her eyes says, “It’s an egg and cheese sandwich- do you want it?” (meaning “I know you can’t eat this”). I say “No thank you,” appreciative of her sympathy.

But without my asking, she continues: “I think I might have a Kosher meal somewhere on the plane. Give me a few minutes and I’ll find it for you.”

A few minutes later she returns with a tray of hot, tasty, Kosher airline delicacies, and my breakfast is served.

Story #4- That same flight arrives in NY eight minutes early. Before landing, a steward makes a heartfelt request: that passengers without connecting flights sit and wait till those with connecting flights make their way off the plane, so that they have ample time to make their flights.
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My point in all of these stories, is not that people are good, even though they are. It is also not that writers need rubber bands, though apparently, they do.

My point is that we are interesting. Interesting and thoughtful. And not satisfied with sticking to rules and expectations.

I think we do a good job at trying to be boring- suits and ties, etiquette and all. But I’ll tell you what: The stewardess with the movie-system: she was British! Thousands of years of etiquette and she couldn’t suppress being fun.

Chana and I once took refuge from an Ireland rain in a golf country club cafe. Manning the counter was a subdued, proper individual. Polite, but very somber.

But after a few minutes, he started to sing opera at the top of his lungs, right in the middle of the cafe. It felt like a scene from an Adam Sandler movie. But the greatest thing was that is wasn’t! This was a regular guy, at his job, stealing a moment of quiet to sing an Aria.

We, human beings, are just great. So much fun! Who needs any other form of entertainment, when we have each other?

I think laughing at ourselves is a super healthy practice. Did you encounter any interestingness or thoughtfulness of late? I know you did. How could you not? But if not, keep your eyes open- Let us know what you see!

So I unpack this week with our being interesting and thoughtful. Enjoy the week! Enjoy yourself! Enjoy us!