Unpacked: A Walker Returns Home

I’d like to Unpack this week with some quotes, from William Coperthwaite’s A Handmade Life: In Search of Simplicity.

So this is an important book. About breaking free from the over-stuff-ization that accounts for much of modern man’s struggles. I’ve been reading my sister Liron’s copy for a few months now, and Mr. Coperthwaite’s wisdom has been instrumental in helping me learn to Unpack the slowness and simplicity of the backcountry in my life in the city. Thanks Liron!

As you may recall, I apologized publicly to my kitchen knife a few months ago, after the knife complained of its woes in its kitchen drawer. Little did I know that Mr. Coperthwaite believes in apologizing to stuff, as well!

Says Mr. Coperthwaite:

“Have you ever had the experience of apologizing to an inanimate object? When we drop a cup and break it, we violate its nature. All things, be they living or inanimate, have their own nature, spirit, or essence. Whenever we come into contact with anything, we either promote or hinder that essential nature. Unless we seek to understand the nature of the things that surround us, we will be a hindrance rather than a help to our world.

“Developing sensitivity and awareness by searching for the basic nature of things is the road to understanding. When we drop and break a cup, we do violence to its spirit, its purpose, and to the work of the artisan who shaped it. We owe the cup an apology.

“Whether running a canoe aground, dulling a chisel on a nail, or puncturing a tire- instead of cursing, we owe an apology. You may respond that the object has no feelings. I would tend to agree with you. But apologies are both given and received, and the effect on the giver may be more important than the effect on the recipient.”

Mr. Coperthwaite brings some pretty incredible quotes with him in A Handmade Life, and while I’m already quoting, I’d like to share two of my favorites:

“You say, ‘Isnt it sad that a diamond, when seen to its essence, is nothing but common carbon?’ I say, ‘Isn’t it wonderful that common carbon, in its most developed form, is the finest of diamonds?’ You say, ‘Isn’t it sad that altruism, when seen in its basic structure, is nothing but base selfishness?’ I say, ‘Isn’t it marvelous that base selfishness, in its most enlightened form, is the purest of altruism?’”

-Pierre Ceresole (Swiss Engineer, 1879-1945)

And (You may recognize part of this quote from Liron Kranzler’s music/Doogree Records):

“When you work you are a flute

through whose heart the whispering

of the hours turns to music.

To love life through labor is to be intimate

with life’s inmost secret.

All work is empty save when there is love,

for work is love made visible.”

-Khalil Ghibran (Lebanese-American Poet, 1883-1931)

(I love that “work is love made visible” part. Kinda sounds like marriage…)

May our work open us up to what we already have,

A simple week to all,

Yannai

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Thank God. We’ve finally got it. We are entitled.

It has become the fashion to put down my generation for living in an “Age of Entitlement,” a “Cult of Self-Esteem” and for being spoiled, arrogant and narcissistic.

I’ve heard and read these descriptions and similar ones in the context of young people not wearing suits in the workplace, parents’ and educators’ frustration at motivating/controlling teens, even in cynical reactions to college students’ excitement about Barak Obama and the silly belief that the world could be better.

Part of me wants to say that older people have always called younger people spoiled. I imagine that Mitch the teenage caveman’s dad nagged him about cave-children thinking they were entitled to everything, just expecting stuff to be hunted and gathered to the cave all by itself. I am positive that cave-parents complained to each other all the time that “Kids these days just can’t imagine a reality without fire.”

And I could write it off like that. But that would only be partially true. Today’s critics are right: We have evolved into believing in our own entitlement. I just think it’s a good thing.

A solid chunk of history behind us, we’ve moved past believing that gods didn’t care whether we were good enough, to flagellating ourselves because we could never be good enough, to thinking that if we tried hard, we could “Make something out of ourselves” and become good enough, to finally realizing:

Hey- we are good enough. Now. From the beginning. We are something, before we’ve ever made, anything.

From my perspective, if anyone believes that people- young, old, near, far- are not entitled to a comfortable life with a family in a nice, safe living-space, then I guess I respect their opinion but think them tragically incorrect. I believe that our species erred in ever thinking that worth had to be earned.

I find it painful when I read articles putting down young people for finally getting excited about joining the political discourse, for being hopeful, for thinking people and Peoples all over the world should and could live in peace and quiet. Critiquing policy is constructive. Digging at hope is petty. In an ironic sort of way, I find it naive.

The most practical knock at my generation seems to be that we’re lazy. We don’t feel like we need to work anymore.

But that’s not it. It’s just that the “Make something out of yourself” argument doesn’t work anymore. I, for one, will not work because that’s how I become something. I don’t need to become something. I am something. I work because valuable work befits somethings like me.

Treating me like nothing- for example, giving me answers like “Because I said so” or “You’ll understand when you’re older” just put me off. “I don’t know,” works much better. I’m much more likely to acknowledge my own imperfection if you admit yours.

Teachers, parents, bosses- they need to be better now. Much better. They have to be honest, non-corrupt, with integrity. They need to make information meaningful, to present it as valuable. To make learning exciting. To talk “to,” not “down to.”

But here’s the thing, and this is important- To the generation frustrated with its young people:

It’s your fault. You finally realized that it is your job to love your kids no matter what. Once they’re your kids- you love ‘em. My parents make sure to hang up every phone call with us with “I love you.” How many parents used to do that?

So I’d like to make one small request: Quit throwing us off your shoulders!

You put us up here to look out hopefully to the world and to ourselves. You taught us that we are entitled. That everyone is entitled. You taught us that our worth is not contingent upon anything. If for that your life becomes more complicated, motivating us becomes more difficult, satisfying us becomes near impossible, then get to work at learning to match the work of your own hands.

But as you struggle along with us, please know this: Self-worth is the greatest gift you could ever have given us. You have provided us with the confidence and faith, the hope, determination and even the awareness that we still have value when we screw up, that will take humanity to worlds and levels it has never known before.

Give us time- we will learn to shed the kinks and the laziness and the scraps of arrogance that come with the merits of “The Age of Entitlement.”

But please: Quit throwing us off your shoulders. You put us up here- don’t throw us back down.

It’s an important time of year right now, smack in between Mother’s and Father’s Day- high time for sons, daughters and the owners of Hallmark. To my parents, who always make me feel deserving and loved- Thank you. I respect and appreciate you so much. To generations of mothers and fathers that made us and brought us here- Thank you too… And quit criticizing your own good work!