Unpacked: A Walker Returns Home

Thank God. We’ve finally got it. We are entitled.

It has become the fashion to put down my generation for living in an “Age of Entitlement,” a “Cult of Self-Esteem” and for being spoiled, arrogant and narcissistic.

I’ve heard and read these descriptions and similar ones in the context of young people not wearing suits in the workplace, parents’ and educators’ frustration at motivating/controlling teens, even in cynical reactions to college students’ excitement about Barak Obama and the silly belief that the world could be better.

Part of me wants to say that older people have always called younger people spoiled. I imagine that Mitch the teenage caveman’s dad nagged him about cave-children thinking they were entitled to everything, just expecting stuff to be hunted and gathered to the cave all by itself. I am positive that cave-parents complained to each other all the time that “Kids these days just can’t imagine a reality without fire.”

And I could write it off like that. But that would only be partially true. Today’s critics are right: We have evolved into believing in our own entitlement. I just think it’s a good thing.

A solid chunk of history behind us, we’ve moved past believing that gods didn’t care whether we were good enough, to flagellating ourselves because we could never be good enough, to thinking that if we tried hard, we could “Make something out of ourselves” and become good enough, to finally realizing:

Hey- we are good enough. Now. From the beginning. We are something, before we’ve ever made, anything.

From my perspective, if anyone believes that people- young, old, near, far- are not entitled to a comfortable life with a family in a nice, safe living-space, then I guess I respect their opinion but think them tragically incorrect. I believe that our species erred in ever thinking that worth had to be earned.

I find it painful when I read articles putting down young people for finally getting excited about joining the political discourse, for being hopeful, for thinking people and Peoples all over the world should and could live in peace and quiet. Critiquing policy is constructive. Digging at hope is petty. In an ironic sort of way, I find it naive.

The most practical knock at my generation seems to be that we’re lazy. We don’t feel like we need to work anymore.

But that’s not it. It’s just that the “Make something out of yourself” argument doesn’t work anymore. I, for one, will not work because that’s how I become something. I don’t need to become something. I am something. I work because valuable work befits somethings like me.

Treating me like nothing- for example, giving me answers like “Because I said so” or “You’ll understand when you’re older” just put me off. “I don’t know,” works much better. I’m much more likely to acknowledge my own imperfection if you admit yours.

Teachers, parents, bosses- they need to be better now. Much better. They have to be honest, non-corrupt, with integrity. They need to make information meaningful, to present it as valuable. To make learning exciting. To talk “to,” not “down to.”

But here’s the thing, and this is important- To the generation frustrated with its young people:

It’s your fault. You finally realized that it is your job to love your kids no matter what. Once they’re your kids- you love ‘em. My parents make sure to hang up every phone call with us with “I love you.” How many parents used to do that?

So I’d like to make one small request: Quit throwing us off your shoulders!

You put us up here to look out hopefully to the world and to ourselves. You taught us that we are entitled. That everyone is entitled. You taught us that our worth is not contingent upon anything. If for that your life becomes more complicated, motivating us becomes more difficult, satisfying us becomes near impossible, then get to work at learning to match the work of your own hands.

But as you struggle along with us, please know this: Self-worth is the greatest gift you could ever have given us. You have provided us with the confidence and faith, the hope, determination and even the awareness that we still have value when we screw up, that will take humanity to worlds and levels it has never known before.

Give us time- we will learn to shed the kinks and the laziness and the scraps of arrogance that come with the merits of “The Age of Entitlement.”

But please: Quit throwing us off your shoulders. You put us up here- don’t throw us back down.

It’s an important time of year right now, smack in between Mother’s and Father’s Day- high time for sons, daughters and the owners of Hallmark. To my parents, who always make me feel deserving and loved- Thank you. I respect and appreciate you so much. To generations of mothers and fathers that made us and brought us here- Thank you too… And quit criticizing your own good work!

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